We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The ass gains better be worth it
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