I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Randomize
