the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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