Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
