we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
