i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
