Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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