i just google imaged poop.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize