He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
