just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
