You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
