So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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