I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
