kristin has been a bad kristin
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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