the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
