She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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