Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
