Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize
