Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
