Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
He passed out mid-signature
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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