My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
