official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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