can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
