OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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