Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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