Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
