that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
