Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
