I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize