Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
