my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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