It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
