I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
