im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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