The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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