I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
