So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize
