the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
