You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
