We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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