new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
This toilet bowl is my home.
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