margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
