rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
