The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
