My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
