This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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