jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
