Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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