I want to stick my p in your. b.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
