the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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