You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
