New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
