How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
