awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
