dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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