ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
should my penis look like a turkey
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
